The Only Way I Know How To Feel
by khfan12
Summary: One night Arthur finds a girl, cold and alone, on the street and takes her in. He soon realizes that she is literally, broken. Will Britain be able to help her feel normal again? And just how is it that she knows Ivan so personally? Rating may change due to flashbacks.
1. 01 Oxygen

**Woot! ^^ My newest Hetalia-related fic c:**

**I really like how it's turning out so far~**

**The fanfic is somewhat inspired by the song "The Only Way I Know How To Feel" by Boys Like Girls.**

**But yeah, please enjoy~! ^^**

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Chapter 01: Oxygen

_I came apart inside a world made of angry people_

Olivia shivered, pulling her knees close. You'd think that she'd be used to the cold of winter after being stuck on the streets after a year, but she's not. She never, ever thought that she'd be homeless. Maybe it should have been a big clue when her ex was acting like an ass, the moment that he had first slapped her; or when he had first burned her. Then again, she never knew that he'd sell every one of her belongings and that they'd shuffle from household to household. She didn't know that he would dump her, leaving her on the street. She never knew he'd forget about her the moment that he had found a new girlfriend. No, she didn't know that her life would be like this.

There was a sudden noise nearby, and Olivia ignored it. Being on the street, she's used to things going 'bump in the night' like rats, stray cats and dogs. She's also used to having to share alleys with other homeless people. Generally, if you leave them alone, they leave you alone. She watched her breath escape her lips in little puffs with tired eyes. Her body didn't feel as warm as it must have been. She shivered and hugged her knees tighter. "Are you alright?"

_I found a boy who had a dream_

Arthur Kirkland walked out of the movie theater, stretching before starting home. The good thing about this movie theater is that it's close to his home. He lives about four blocks away from it, so he doesn't have to waste gas by driving to it. Arthur shivered and pulled his coat tighter around himself. Britain started thinking about how he can make tea and eat some scones when he gets home. He was deep in thought when he noticed a girl, sitting in an alley. She seems to be 21, and she sticks out compared to the rest of the alley. She's hugging her knees and is perfectly still. She has dirt on her pale skin and it's caked on her t-shirt and jeans, both clothing is torn as well. Her blonde hair is matted and has clumps of dirt in it. As Arthur got closer to her, he noticed that the girl has scratches all over her arms. Arthur stopped beside the girl. "Are you alright?"

The girl slightly jumped when she heard Arthur's voice. She started trembling and looked up, revealing her eyes to be a vivid violet color, but they seemed dull. The fear in her eyes is obvious. "H-huh?" she asked in a quiet voice. "I asked you if you were alright." Arthur repeated. The girl was quiet and she shifted her gaze. "I…I'm fine…" She said in a quiet voice. Arthur held his hand out. "Well then, would you like to have some tea?" He asked as a warm smile grew on his face. The girl's face flushed. She bit her lip and looked around nervously. "W-what is this…s-some sort…of j-joke?" She asked in a shaky voice. Arthur was shocked, and his face showed it. "N-No, of course not! Why would I do that?" He asked. The girl shook her head. "You'd be surprised." She said as she rested her chin on her knees. Arthur kneeled beside the girl and gently touched her arm. She jolted, and Arthur was shocked at how cold her skin felt. "My dear, your skin's cold as ice!" Arthur said in surprise. The girl said nothing, and left her chin on her knees. Arthur shrugged his coat off and put it around the girls' shoulders. She looked at him in surprise, only to see him smiling kindly at her. "Would you please come to my home for some tea?"

_Making everyone smile, He was sunshine_

Arthur sipped from his tea and quietly watched the girl in front of him as she cautiously surveyed his large kitchen. She had yet to touch the cup in front of her. "Excuse me dear, would it be alright if I asked you why you were in that alley?" Arthur asked. The girl looked at him. "I…I have no home…" She said quietly. She reached toward the cup in front of her and took a drink of her tea. She closed her eyes. "I've…had no home for…a year now."

Arthur looked at the girl in shock and she held onto the teacup as an uncomfortable silence set in. "You can stay here." Arthur said. The girl looked at him in surprise. "W-what? You barely know me…" She said. "Look, it wouldn't feel right if I didn't ask you to stay here. The bottom line is, you're homeless. I'm asking you to stay here so that you won't be homeless. I would never be able to forgive myself if I didn't offer." Arthur said. The girl bit her lip and looked at the cup in front of her. "…I guess…I can stay here…but…I have nothing…no money, no other clothing…" She said in a quiet voice. "I have two friends who can help. I'll call them and see if they can be here tomorrow." Arthur said. A tiny smile spread on the girls' face. "Alright…thank you. Um…what's your name?" She asked. Arthur smiled. "Arthur. Arthur Kirkland. May I ask your name in return?" He asked. "O-Olivia…Chekov." The girl said. "Oh? Are you Russian?" Britain asked. "Yes…my mother was Russian…" Olivia said, her voice trailing off. Arthur looked at the time and stood. "Well, it's late. Go ahead and take a bath. If you like, I could get some extra clothes for you and I'll get one of my guest rooms ready for you." He said. Olivia set the now empty teacup down. "A-Alright…thank you, Arthur." She said with a tiny smile.

_I fell over my feet, like bricks underwater_

Arthur has given Olivia some extra clothes, a t-shirt and a pair of shorts, for her to wear after her bath, before he had left to get the extra room ready. Olivia looked around the bathroom and was relieved that it is somewhat normal sized. She glanced towards the large square bathtub and she turned the faucets, watching the water begin to fill the tub. She shrugged off Arthur's coat and hung it on the bathroom door. The tub was soon full and Olivia stopped the water. Olivia slowly stripped, and she stared at her body in the mirror. She saw the scars on her body and winced when she ran her fingers over the large burn mark on her stomach, the worst burn mark she had ever gotten. Olivia felt tears in her eyes but she pushed them back. She turned and stepped into the bathtub and winced then the hot water made contact with some of the open cuts and injuries on her body. Olivia relaxed into the water and soon started to wash herself.

After her bath, Olivia put on the clothes from Arthur. The t-shirt is white with green stripes, and the shorts are tan. The t-shirt fit her loosely, and the shorts as well. He had also given her some old boxers as well, and she had those on too. Olivia walked down the hallway, running her hand through her hair as she glanced into the rooms along the way. She saw Arthur who smiled at her. After her bath, Olivia had realized how filthy she was. Her hair was so dirty, it looked light brown, but now it's clean and looks like the normal platinum blonde it is. "Well now, I take it that you feel better?" Arthur asked with a smile. Olivia nodded and Arthur pointed to the closed door beside them. "This is the room you can use." He said, opening the door and flipping on the light.

The room is spacious for a bedroom, and the walls are white. The sheets and pillows are pale blue, and the carpet is red. There is simple furniture in the room, like a dresser, end table, a desk, a closet and a chair. Olivia looked at Arthur. "This…is my room?" She asked. "Of course! After you get some new clothes tomorrow, you can start to fill the closet and dresser. Does that sound good?" Arthur asked with a smile. "Y-Yeah…thank you Arthur, for everything." Olivia said, wiping a tear from her cheek. "I guess I will see you in the morning. I hope you sleep well." Arthur said as he turned to walk away. After he left, Olivia closed the door and walked towards her new bed. She sat on it and laid down, pulling the covers over her. As she laid there, she felt tears on her cheeks and Olivia soon found herself crying until she had fallen asleep.


	2. 02 Dance Hall Drug

**Here's chapter 2! :)**

**Also a note to everybody who does this, DONT TRUST SPELL CHECKER. c:**

**It's never right~**

**Okie-doke, Disclaimer time!**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA, I ONLY OWN OLIVIA, and ITTBPE owns Cascadia c:**

**Enjoy!**

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Chapter 02: Dance Hall Drug

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_Grown up, she just turned 16, Stuck in the moment and dead at the scene_

Olivia woke up the next morning to seeing sunlight filter in through the window in her new room. She got out of bed and opened the door to her bedroom. The smell of food drifted up the stairs and she walked into the kitchen. A girl stood in front of the stove, frying eggs and bacon. Arthur is sitting at the kitchen table, drinking tea and reading the morning paper. He looked up and smiled at Olivia. "Good morning Olivia. I hope that you slept well." Britain said as he folded the newspaper. Olivia quietly nodded and she slowly walked into the kitchen. The girl at the stove smiled. "Hello, I'm Victoria. Victoria Williams, I'm from Cascadia. Um, Arthur called me yesterday so I could take you shopping." She said happily. Olivia looked at Victoria. She has shoulder-length auburn hair with green streaks in it, green eyes and she's taller than Olivia."N-Nice to meet you…" Olivia said quietly. Victoria grinned. "Oh, and another friend will be here a little later, she had to take care some things. I'll be finished making breakfast soon. Go ahead and get some coffee, I made some when I had gotten here." She said as she returned to cooking. Olivia noticed the coffee pot on the counter, that wasn't there the previous night.

Olivia sat at the table across from Arthur with her new cup of coffee. She slowly sipped from the cup and Arthur looked at her, then at Cascadia. "So how much do you think you'll need for the clothes?" He asked. "Hm...I'd say about 200, just to be safe." Victoria said. Olivia swallowed the coffee in her mouth and started coughing. "W-what?! That's s-so much!" She said. Victoria looked at her. "Well, we _are_ getting you a bunch of new clothes, practically a whole new wardrobe. It's only logical to bring allot of money to be safe." Victoria said as she pulled the food off of the stove. "O-Oh…" Olivia said quietly. "Don't worry, it's no big deal, I don't mind helping you Olivia." Arthur said quickly. "A-are you sure? I…I don't want to be a burden to anybody…" Olivia said in a quiet voice. "Olivia, you won't be a burden, alright?" Arthur said sternly. Olivia nodded as she sipped quietly from her coffee.

_And it's on tonight; this is the life that you wanted, right? So turn off all the lights_

As the three ate their breakfast, Olivia listened to Victoria and Arthur argue about which Doctor in Dr. Who is the best. Arthur was claiming that four is the best, while Victoria claimed that ten is the best. Olivia, on the other hand, had no idea what the two were talking about. The two were about to start throwing things, when there was a noise by the window. Olivia looked and was shocked to see a man with blue eyes and long, shaggy blonde hair, as well as a miniature beard. "Allo~! I smelled bacon!"

"Francie-pants?!" Arthur yelled, spitting his tea out. Olivia was even more shocked when Victoria pulled a revolver virtually out of nowhere and pointed it towards the man, glaring at him. "Francis, why are you not in your cage?!" She hissed, standing from her chair. "A-Ah! T-Tori! I….I only came to d-drop off Alice!" The man said with a shriek. He shrank away from the window as a girl walked to the sliding glass door. The man hugged her and then ran off. Victoria huffed and shoved the revolver back into her pocket. The girl at the sliding glass door knocked, and Arthur opened it, letting her in. She has blonde hair tied into a side braid that hangs over her left shoulder, hair clips on the right side of her bangs, blue eyes, and she's wearing glasses. "H-Hey Alice…" Arthur said, closing the door behind her and sitting back at the table. Victoria happily bounced towards her and gave her a big hug. "Ali~! I missed you~!" She said as the girl peeled away from her. She noticed Olivia at the table and asked Victoria something, and she nodded in reply. The girl walked over to Olivia. "My name is Alice Bonnefoy, I'm from Monaco. That idiot you saw earlier is my older brother Francis." She said, holding her hand out. "O-Olivia…Chekov." Olivia said, shaking Alice's hand. Alice smiled comfortingly. "Now, it's time we got you some new clothes."

_Dressed up just like a movie star, at all the parties, they'll know who you are_

By the time the girls had gotten back, it was already dinnertime. They had brought some takeout to share with Arthur. Alice and Victoria deiced to stay the night, and Arthur reluctantly agreed to let them. Olivia sat on her bed. Alice had insisted on getting her a nightgown, while Victoria insisted on getting her pajama bottoms and a top. So, they decided to get her both. There was a knock on Olivia's bedroom door, and she answered it to see Victoria and Alice in the hallway. Victoria grinned a cheesy grin at Olivia. "Hey! We wanted to hang out a little before we went to sleep." She said happily. Alice nodded from behind her and Olivia let them into her room. She closed the door behind them as Victoria stretched loudly, popping her neck as well, causing Alice to shiver. "I'll never get used to you doing that." She said. Victoria beamed at her in return and Alice clawed at her, hissing as well. "Ew, get the cheesy grin away." She said sarcastically. Olivia giggled, and Alice smiled as Victoria pouted. "Well Livi, do you like the pajamas we got you?" Victoria asked, suddenly cheerful again. Olivia quietly nodded; a tiny smile on her face. She picked up the shirt and pants, before heading for the door. "Where are you going?" Alice asked curiously. "O-Oh…I was…going to change in the bathroom." Olivia said nervously. "Why don't you change in here? We're all girls, so it doesn't matter." Victoria said, hanging off of Olivia's bed. Olivia hesitated, looking from the door to the girls, and to the closet. She clutched the clothing close.

_Wouldn't it be great to be fashionably late? So why don't you wait till you're sedated?_

"All…All right…just please don't look…" Olivia said. She set the clothes on the bed as Victoria and Alice started talking. Olivia undressed and put the pants on first. Victoria turned really quick and gasped. "O-Olivia!" She said, seeing the scars and large burn mark on Olivia's stomach. Olivia blushed and quickly pulled the shirt on. Victoria walked over to her and gently put a hand on her shoulder. "Livi…let me see it…"

Olivia hesitated, biting her lip, and slowly pulled her shirt up. The large burn mark stretched from one side of her to the other, and is one inch thick. It's more of a scar now then a scab and it feels bumpy to the touch, like any other burn scar out there. Olivia didn't look at Victoria or Alice as they looked at the mark, and she winced at the contact of Alice's fingers on her skin when she touched the mark. They felt cold compared to Olivia's skin, and they made the burn itch. "Olivia…what happened?" She asked, looking at her with concerned eyes. "Why…why do you have all of these scars on your stomach, and this burn mark?" She added. Tears started to fall down Olivia's face and Alice pulled her hand away, letting Olivia's shirt fall back into place. Olivia stood in front of the girls and continued to silently cry. "Olivia, you don't have to tell us now, you can wait until you're ready." Victoria said, placing a comforting hand on Olivia's shoulder. Olivia shook her head and wiped her eyes. "I-I'll tell you guys, just…please don't tell anybody else."

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**Dun dun dun! D**

**Ya'll have to WAIT to find out what happens next!**

**Please review!**


	3. 03 Stay

**Woo! Here's chapter 3!**

**Oh mah gosh, I have been trying to work on this, but I've been getting distracted...**

**Chapter 4 is halfway done!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia, I own Olivia, and ITTBPE owns Cascadia**

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Chapter 03: Stay

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_If you believe that everything's alright, you won't be all alone tonight_

The next morning, Olivia woke up and realized that Victoria and Alice had fallen asleep with her. She wiggled out of their grasp and left the room, heading toward the kitchen. When she was in there, she grabbed the tea kettle and started to fill it, deciding to make tea. She put the kettle on the stove and opened the cabinet to find some tea. She stepped back and gawked. The entire cabinet is filled top to bottom, with all kinds of different types of tea. "Morning."

Olivia noticed Arthur in the kitchen doorway. He, in turn, noticed her reaction to the tea cabinet and smiled. "U-Um…which tea…s-should I make?" She asked nervously. Arthur stood beside her in front of the cabinet and looked at the tea. "What about green tea?" He asked. "Alright, green tea it is." Olivia said with a tiny smile as she retrieved the box from the cabinet. "How did you sleep? Are you adjusting well?" Arthur asked as the two waited for the tea to finish. Olivia nodded. "I…hopefully I'll be used to this soon." She said. "Good. Well, once Alice and Victoria leave, it'll get quiet around here." Arthur said, leaning against the counter. Olivia laughed and Arthur chuckled. "Well, Victoria's not that bad…I don't mind either of them, actually." Olivia said with a smile. She crossed her arms and held them over her chest and held them there. Arthur shrugged. "Alice is…at least a little bit more behaved than Victoria. If the two are together however, they are trouble." He said, shaking his head. Olivia laughed. "They're…different. I know that for sure." She said. Arthur was about to say something, when the tea kettle started to whistle.

_And I'd be blessed by the light of your company, slowly lifting me to somewhere new_

Olivia and Arthur sat at the table, sipping their tea, and talking. Olivia examined Arthur and blushed as she did so. His hair is still messy, almost like he has yet to brush it. His bright, grass green colored eyes enchanted Olivia, and they filled her with curiosity. She reached over and brushed some of his hair out of his face and he gently grabbed her hand, causing her to blush. He carefully examined her hand, turning it over and gently running his fingers over her hand. Olivia sat there, watching Arthur examine her hand, forgetting about her tea. He lifted her hand to his lips and gently kissed it. "The back of your hand is soft…" He said, tailing off. "O-Oh…t-that's nice…" Olivia said as her eyes met Arthur's. She felt their bodies drawing closer to each other, and Olivia drew in a shuddering breath. Their lips were about to meet, when there was a loud _SLAM_! Olivia jumped back and Arthur's face flashed red. Victoria stomped into the kitchen, letting out a loud yawn. She poured herself a cup of tea and added milk and honey before sitting at the table. She started gulping the tea down, finishing it within a minute. Olivia stood abruptly. "I-I'm going to get dressed!" She halfway shouted, rushing out of the kitchen, nearly bumping into Alice, who was walking into the kitchen. Alice looked back and forth, before shrugging and going to get some tea.

Olivia closed the bathroom door behind her and put her clean clothes on the counter beside the sink. She put her hands over her blushing face and shook her head. "_I…can't do this again_…" She thought. She sighed and started the shower. She stripped her clothes and stopped when she saw her reflection. Her scars were starting to heal, to fade away. Olivia looked at the burn mark on her stomach, and then the smaller, less noticeable scars around it. The scars on her legs, easily hidden, were healing as well. Olivia stepped into the shower and relaxed as the warm water ran over her body. The thing is about scars, they may physically heal, but the emotional scars will take longer to heal, sometimes forever.

_If you believe that everything's alright, you won't be all alone tonight_

When the time had come for Alice to leave, it had already been a month. Her leaving wasn't awkward at all. Olivia had given her a hug, since she had gotten somewhat closer to the girl, and told her to come and visit them soon. Victoria, however, had given Alice the chance to use her boot as a weapon once again, to pry the auburn-haired girl off of herself. Arthur just smiled and waved goodbye when Francis had drove up and away after Alice had gotten into the car. Arthur turned to Victoria. "When are you going home?" He asked, sending a glare her way. Victoria shrugged and smiled. "Ivan said he'll come by to get me and then we'll go to his house in Russia. After that, I don't know, I'll probably stay at his house for a little while." She said happily. "Ivan?" Olivia asked. "Oh, he's Victoria's boyfriend." Arthur said. Olivia nodded silently, contemplating what she should say next.

Later that evening, Olivia, Arthur and Victoria were eating and talking. "So Olivia, do you have anything you may want to do as a career?" Victoria asked. Olivia shrugged. "Not really…" She said, taking a forkful of food and eating it. "Hm…maybe we can find something for you to do." Victoria said. Olivia shrugged again and started nibbling on a scone, grabbing one from the pile that had remained barely touched until then. "Oh, this is good!" She said happily. Victoria's eyes grew wide. "They are, aren't they? I keep trying to get Arthur to give me the recipe, but he refuses." She said, slightly pouting. Olivia looked at Arthur curiously. "You bake?" She asked. Arthur nodded as a tiny amount of blush spread on his cheeks, as well as a smile. "That's so cool! You'll have to help me learn how to bake sometime!" Olivia said as a smile grew on her face. Arthur nodded shyly in reply. "Ah~! Dinner was good Arthur!" Victoria said as she stretched her arms out. "Yeah it was, thank you Arthur." Olivia said. "H-Hey, would you girls like to watch a movie?" Arthur asked, quickly standing from his chair. "Totally!" Victoria shouted, slamming her hands on the table, making Olivia jump. Olivia nodded in agreement.

_ And I'd be blessed by the light of your company, slowly lifting me to somewhere new_

The trio moved into the living room, Arthur and Olivia on the couch, and Victoria decided to take over the nearby fluffy chair. She fell into it, and sunk in about an inch. Arthur started the movie and Victoria let out a yawn. Before they knew it, Victoria had fallen asleep, sprawled out on the chair. About halfway through the movie, Olivia felt herself getting tired. She rested her head on Arthur's shoulder, muttered an apology, and soon fell asleep. She didn't notice the slight blush Arthur had on his face, or the odd look he had. Arthur calmed down from his little "blush attack" and he sighed. He attempted to continue watching the movie, but he kept getting the urge to brush Olivia's hair out of her face. He bit his lip and carefully reached over, gently tucking some of her hair behind her ear. Arthur gazed at her sleeping face and smiled. To Arthur, Olivia looked absolutely adorable at that moment, and he wanted nothing more than to hold her close, and to never let her go. His eyes drooped and he let out a yawn. Arthur soon found himself falling asleep as well.

_Oh can you tell, I haven't slept very well, since the last time that we spoke, you said, "Please understand if I see you again don't even say hello."  
_

"A-Arthur? What is that on your shoulder?"

Arthur opened his eyes and Olivia was looking at his shoulder, confusion on her face. He put his hand on his shoulder and felt something soft, fuzzy and round. He grabbed it, looked at it, and then glared at Victoria. He threw the green flying bunny plushie at her angrily. "Damn it Victoria! Stop leaving your damn plushies around!" He yelled. Victoria pouted and walked into the kitchen, nonchalantly humming a tune, leaving the other two alone. It got quiet, other than the noise of the food being made, and Olivia smiled, a tiny blush on her face. "U-Um…Victoria said that breakfast will be ready by the time Ivan gets here." She said. Arthur straightened. "R-Really?" He asked. Olivia nodded. "Victoria said that he got on a train last night and should be here soon." She said, nudging a spot on the carpet with her big toe. "Oh." Was all Arthur could say, because he felt like he was at a loss of words. He looked around the room awkwardly. A knock on the front door had startled to two, and Victoria sped out of the kitchen yelling "I got it!"

The door opened and they heard Victoria talking to who Olivia assumed is Ivan. They heard footsteps and Olivia turned to face the doorway, as Victoria and the man walked into the living room. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw the tall, familiar beige-haired man standing beside Victoria. Olivia stood from the couch and walked toward the man, who froze when he noticed her. She stopped in front of the man and drew in a shuddering breath. "U…U-Uncle Ivan?"


	4. 04 Nightmares

**Here's chapter 4! :) I hope you guys like it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, I only own Olivia and her family. ITTBPE owns Cascadia/Victoria.**

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Chapter 04: Nightmares

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_Look away, pray for salvation, and pray for a sweet conversation. _

Olivia's eyes filled with tears as she embraced the tall Russian before her. Ivan hugged her back and told her that he had missed her. She started crying into his chest and he held her as she cried, telling her that it's alright. Victoria and Arthur watched the display in confusion. A few minutes later, Ivan pulled away from Olivia, a smile on his face. "Ah, Olivia! You've gotten so big!" He said happily, clasping his hands onto her shoulders. "Well, you've gotten older! I believe you were eighteen the last time I saw you." Olivia said with a smile on her face. Arthur cleared his throat and Olivia looked at him, still smiling. "Arthur, Victoria…I've known Ivan…for a while. He and his sisters helped my mother raise me until I was eight. Ivan is like…my older brother." Olivia said. "Oh! So that's who it is!" Victoria chirped. "Who and what?" Arthur asked in confusion. "Ivan has a picture in his wallet of him when he was fifteen, with his sisters, a child and a woman. I'm guessing that the child is Olivia when she was five, and that the woman is her mother!" Victoria said, feeling proud of herself. Ivan pulled his wallet out of his pocket and showed the picture to Arthur, and Olivia peeked at it and blushed. "You still have that picture?" She asked. Ivan smiled. "Da. It reminds me of the good times." He said, putting his hand on Olivia's head. Olivia sighed and shifted her gaze, her smile fading. "Yeah…good times…" She said quietly. "H-Hey! Let's eat!" Victoria said nervously, practically shoving everyone into the kitchen.

_The problem's not with you, It's without you; I love the way that you told me I'm better_

"Olivia, what has happened to you?" Ivan asked after breakfast when the four was back in the living room. "What do you mean?" Olivia asked. Ivan gently grabbed her wrist and pushed her sleeve back, revealing the scars on her arm. "O-Oh…that." She said quietly. "Olivia, tell me. You are still part of my family and I have been worried about you." Ivan said. Olivia bit her lip. "I…I'll tell you. Just please…don't get angry. Arthur, please listen too." Olivia said. Arthur, who was about to leave the room, sat back on the couch beside Olivia and she sighed. "It pretty much started on the night mum had died, eleven years ago."

**Flashback start**

_Ten year old Olivia looked at her father as he sat in the chair in her parents' bedroom which is near their bed,, tears in his eyes. "Mommy's dead, isn't she daddy?" She concluded. Her father nodded as he stood to walk away from Olivia's mothers' still body. "She...She was fine just last night…are…are you sure she's…?" Olivia asked. "She's dead! Your mother is dead, alright?! She's never ever going to come back!" Her father shouted angrily. "B-But…she said-"_

_Olivia was cut off by her father's hand slapping her across her face. Tears welled up in her eyes. "Shut up! She's dead!" He yelled, walking out of the room, leaving Olivia by herself._

**Flashback end**

"H-How could your father do that to you?!" Arthur asked angrily. Olivia shook her head. "I instigated it that time…I was young and…didn't know not to push what I wasn't supposed to." She said. "Hey, I noticed, why do you not have your Russian accent anymore?" Ivan asked. Olivia was silent, and she bit her lip. "Olivia…?" Arthur asked, putting his hand on her knee. "Because…my father hated it. He said that it reminded him too much of my mum…and of you, Ivan. He…didn't like you, he said…bad things, about you. He forced me to forget the Russian I knew, and to learn how to speak with an English accent." Olivia said. "That's horrible!" Victoria said with a gasp. "It's alright…I adapted fast. It wasn't so hard to lose an accent at that age." Olivia said. "I can't believe that he made you lose your accent!" Arthur said with a huff. "Hey Livi, how did you get the burn mark on your belly?" Victoria asked. Olivia glared at the auburn haired girl who smiled innocently. "What burn mark?" Ivan asked. Olivia sent one last glare towards Victoria, and then she lifted her shirt high enough for them to see the large burn mark that stretched across her stomach. The room fell silent and Olivia watched as Arthur's hands balled into fists and as Ivan slowly turned to face Olivia. "…Where did you get that from Olivia?" He asked. Olivia bit her lip. "U-um…m-my ex boyfriend…he…he would burn me…that was the worst one…" Olivia said quietly. "Olivia, what did he do to you? Why…did he burn you?" Arthur asked. "I…I'll tell you, just a short version." Olivia said, as she leaned back onto the couch.

_The way you described me in letters, there's nothing I can do,_

"It started on the day that we had met, I was fifteen, him sixteen. His name…was…Matt...Matt Witte. At first, we couldn't stand each other. We even got in several arguments that got us kicked out of class. But then we were forced to work together on a school assignment. We got to know each other, and we started dating after I turned sixteen. I…should have realized that something was wrong when we had first…had sex, but at the time, I was too foolish. About a couple of months into the relationship, he…had hit me. He apologized right afterwards. I…should have left him then, but I didn't know. It…escalated from there. He got insanely jealous, and he…at one point, yelled at me, tied me down and…b-b-burned me… From then on, he had started abusing me. We continued to date, until last year, when I was 20, he dumped me, sold all of my things, and threw me out of the apartment we had. That was when I started to live on the streets, and a year later, I met you Arthur." Olivia said, finishing the story. Ivan growled and started grinding his teeth. "Just where is this ex-boyfriend of yours?" He asked in a sweet voice. "I don't know and frankly, I don't care. So please Ivan, don't hurt anyone, please." Olivia pleaded. Ivan sighed. "I guess." He muttered. Victoria stood. "Let's talk in the kitchen Ivan." She said, pulling the large Russian with her as she walked into the kitchen, leaving Olivia and Arthur alone in the living room.

_Is there nothing I can do?_

Arthur looked at Olivia. "So…how many scars do you have?" He asked cautiously. "Too many that a person should ever have in one lifetime." Olivia said with a sad smile. "Are they…why you're always covering your arms?" Arthur asked, watching Olivia nod. "Whenever I see them…I think of the memories that come with them." She said with a sigh. "May I see your arms?" Arthur asked. Olivia nodded and polled her sleeves up to her shoulders and Arthur drew in a breath when he saw her bare arms. He gently ran him hand over her arm, as if she would break at his touch. She slightly shivered at his touch as he felt the tiny bumps of each of her scars. Arthur pulled away and Olivia rolled her sleeves back down. "They're ugly." She whispered quietly, looking away from Arthur. "No they're not Olivia…please don't you dare think that." He said, gently grabbing Olivia's hands. "How can you say that…? They're horrible, ugly things…" Olivia said quietly as tears ran down her cheeks. Arthur squeezed her hands. "I…Olivia, I am so sorry that you ever had to go through that…I don't think that you deserved it." Arthur said. Olivia looked at Arthur in surprise. "D-Do you really mean that?" She asked. "Of course I do. I would not say so it if I didn't mean it." Arthur said, as a warm smile grew on his face and Olivia sniffled quietly. Arthur moved closer to her and moved one of his hands to wipe the tears away from her eyes. She looked at him after his hands were both holding hers again, and she moved her hands so that their fingers were tangled together. Olivia looked at their hands and smiled to herself. She looked to see Arthur blushing. "Are you nervous?" He asked as the blush on his face quickly faded. Olivia shook her head. "Not nervous…more like…scared." She said quietly. Arthur gently kissed her forehead, and then rested his on hers. "Olivia…I promise…to never hurt you like he did." Arthur whispered, tucking some of Olivia's hair behind her ear. Olivia closed her eyes and took a deep breath, before she nodded. "Are you sure?" Arthur asked softly. Olivia leaned forward and softly kissed Arthur, and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. When she broke for air, she smiled at him. "I guess I can give you a chance." Olivia said playfully. Arthur kissed her back and she ran her fingers through his hair.

_I'll scream just to get your attention; I have seen what happens to a lonely heart_

Suddenly, a plushie flew and hit the side of Arthur's head. He broke the kiss, just as another plushie hit the side of his head. Olivia looked at the source to see Victoria standing by the TV with an armful of plushies, laughing as she continued to throw them at Arthur. She soon ran out of her ammo, the living room scattered with plushies. Arthur grabbed one and launched it back towards Victoria, who squeaked when it hit her in the face. He grinned and loaded up on more plushies as Victoria did the same. Olivia smiled to herself and walked out of the room, as the plushie war began.

_And ill scream just to get your attention, I have seen the nightmares that tore us apart. _

Eventually, Victoria had made lunch for everyone. Ivan had to step in before the plushie war had turned into a full out furniture war, and everyone sat down together for lunch. After that, Victoria decided to take Ivan to the movies, and to bring Arthur and Olivia along as well. The movie they saw ended up being violent, bloody and gory, and it made Olivia sick. She skipped out on dinner, and decided to go straight to bed. She said goodnight to everybody and kissed Arthur's forehead, earning him a funny look from Ivan. As Olivia walked up the stairs, she heard Ivan start talking to Arthur. "Mr. Kirkland, we need to talk, da?"

_So long, wish that you'd tell me you're wrong, That we're not dead and buried, and save your harsh goodbyes,_

Olivia found herself standing in a meadow of flowers, daisies to be more exact, and she looked around. A distance away, she saw Arthur lying down on a pale blanket. She ran over to him and reached him quickly than she thought that she would. "A-Arthur…?" She asked. Arthur sat up and smiled. "There you are! I've been waiting for you." He said happily. "Y-You have…?" Olivia asked. Arthur nodded and Olivia sat beside him as he opened up a basket. "I hope you don't mind, but I packed up some lunch." Arthur said as he started to take some items out of the basket.

"All good things never stay good for long."

Olivia shivered as she heard a voice. It sounded like two familiar voices mixed. She shook her head and continued to listen to Arthur as he talked about how he had found this place.

"You know that we can't have you happy, Olivia."

Olivia started shivering, and Arthur looked at her. "Are you cold?" He asked. "I…don't know…I just have this eerie feeling…" Olivia said quietly. Arthur kissed Olivia's cheek as their fingers tangled with each other. "Don't worry, it'll be alright."

"We will take all of the good away from you…"

Olivia felt a pull and she looked around, only to see darkness all around her and Arthur. She watched as everything was pulled away and she looked at Arthur desperately, and he had panic in his eyes. "Olivia…what's happening?" He asked. "I don't know!" She said. She froze as she saw the darkness start to wrap itself around Arthur's legs. It traveled up his body and it pulled him away from her and their hands let go of each other. "Arthur!" Olivia screamed. "Olivia!" Arthur called back. The darkness covered his hand and it slowly enveloped itself around his head. Olivia saw tears in Arthur's eyes, just before he was swallowed up completely.

"…Until you have nothing, absolutely nothing, left."

Olivia put her hands on the sides of her head and squeezed her eyes shut as tears started to fall. She started to feel like she was drowning. "You will never be anything. You will always be that…that woman's child!" A voice yelled. Olivia put her hands over her mouth as the image of her father appeared before her, yelling at her. "Do you hear me?! You are trash! I don't want you here!" He yelled. Tears streamed down Olivia's face as the memory played out before her. The first time she had truly been beaten, and she covered her eyes. "N-No…" She choked out. "Where have you been?!" Another voice yelled, making Olivia freeze cold. "I've been up late worrying about you and you don't even call me!" The voice continued. Olivia did not dare look at her ex, but she was forced to as she was pulled back into the memory behind the giant burn on her stomach.

_Your salty liquid eyes, and this song is just another song, don't know why I bother._

"Olivia!"

Arthur looked at Victoria as she ran forward with a large glass of water. "Are you insane?!" He asked. "Well I don't see you coming up with any better ideas. We need to get her awake _now_, Arthur." Victoria said. Arthur sat back reluctantly and watched as Victoria dumped the large glass of water on top of Olivia. She shot up from her sleep, panting. "Olivia!" Arthur said. He reached out and gently touched Olivia's shoulder and she jumped at his touch. She looked at him. "A-Arthur…?" She asked in a shaky voice. Tears are streaming down her face and she is now wet, thanks to Victoria. Arthur pulled her close and Olivia clung to him, silently crying into his chest. Victoria tossed a towel towards them and yawned. "We'll leave her to you Art. Goodnight." She said as she and Ivan left Olivia's bedroom. Arthur let out a huff and sighed as he was reminded that, thanks to Victoria, Olivia's bed is all wet. He held Olivia at arms' length and grabbed the towel and put it on Olivia's head. She sniffled and sat there quietly as Arthur dried her hair and when he finished with her hair, he gently wiped Olivia's face, drying her tears in the process. He tossed the towel towards the clothes basket and stood. He scooped Olivia into his arms and started toward her door and she looked at him. "I'm not leaving you alone tonight. Plus, your bed is wet now because of Victoria." Arthur said, slightly blushing. Olivia nodded and sniffled, leaning her head on Arthur as he left her room, and walked into his. He gently set her on his bed and pulled the blankets over her when she laid down. Arthur laid down on the opposite side and pulled the blankets over him as he heard a quiet voice.

"Arthur?" Olivia called; her voice nearly a whisper. "Yes?" Arthur asked, turning onto his side to face Olivia. Olivia watched him as he reached forward and wiped fresh tears off of her face with the blanket that was over them. "What is it love?" He asked softly. Olivia sniffled once again as a single tear rolled down her cheek. "D-Don't ever leave me…please…" She said; her voice now a whisper. Arthur wrapped his arms around Olivia and pulled her close, kissing her forehead. "I promise, I won't ever leave you Olivia."

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**Yay for chapter four! :D Consider this like a Christmas present for ya'll! D**

**The song used with this chapter is "Nightmares" By Secondhand Serenade.**

**Well, I'm thinking of some more songs to help me with the next couple of chapters, and I have somewhat of a list. Oh, and don't forget about the people who've hurt her, they're still important in the storyline! **

**So anywho...please review! ^^**


	5. 05: Fix You

Here's chapter 5! :) I hope you guys like it!

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, I only own Olivia and her family. ITTBPE owns Cascadia/Victoria.

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Chapter 05: Fix You

_When you try your best but you don't succeed_

Olivia opened her eyes to find herself still being held in Arthur's arms. She looked at his sleeping face and felt herself smile. She couldn't help but feel happy to be held by this man lying next to her. She wiggled a bit, until she was snugger, and she began to relax in his arms once again. Olivia heard a yawn and felt Arthur move. She looked at his face as he ran a hand through his hair, moving it out of his face, and he then remembered that Olivia was wrapped in his other arm, and a small blush crossed his face. "Morning." He said with a smile. "Morning." Olivia repeated quietly. Arthur kissed her forehead. "Come on; we should let Victoria and Ivan know that you're alright." He said, releasing Olivia and sitting up. Olivia sat up as well, and watched as Arthur stumbled out of bed, getting some fresh clothes for himself. Olivia stood and started towards the door, when Arthur gently stopped her. "Arthur?" She asked, looking at him. Arthur reached forward, pulling Olivia close, and planted a firm kiss on her lips. When he pulled away, he smiled and brushed a hand over Olivia's messy hair. "I'll see you in a few minutes." He said. Olivia nodded; a tiny smile on her face.

_When you get what you want but not what you need_

The moment Olivia had stepped into the kitchen she was jumped by a flash of auburn-green hair. "Olivia!" She chirped happily. "Oh my gosh, I was so worried about you! I'm glad that you're alright!" Victoria added, letting go of Olivia. Olivia looked at Ivan, who smiled. "Da. I was worried as well." He said. Olivia smiled. "I'm fine, it was just a nightmare; no big deal." She said. Arthur walked into the kitchen and he exchanged smiles with Olivia before sitting beside her at the table. "Hey Arthur, what are you doing for Christmas?" Victoria asked. "Oh, um…most likely staying home. Unless Alfred forces me to go to another one of his parties." Arthur said, caught slightly off guard. Due to all that's happened in the past two months, he had nearly forgotten that Christmas is in two weeks. "Okay. I'm going to Russia with Ivan at the end of the week and I'll probably be with him for Christmas." Victoria said, suddenly beside Ivan and hugging his arm. "Oh, Christmas…" Olivia said sadly. "Hm? What's wrong Olivia?" Arthur asked. "I…haven't celebrated Christmas since…mom died. I tried getting Matt to celebrate it once, but…it didn't work out." Olivia said. "Wow that sucks. Hey Artie! You should celebrate it this year, or else we'll kidnap Olivia." Victoria said with a wink and a grin. "You don't celebrate Christmas?" Olivia asked, watching Arthur shake his head. "I haven't celebrated it…for a while now, probably since I moved out of my brothers' house." He said, taking a drink of his tea. "Maybe because you haven't had anyone to celebrate it with, Da?" Ivan asked happily. Arthur's face flushed and he muttered "Wanker" under his breath. "Oh! Arthur, you and Olivia are going out to dinner tonight." Victoria said happily. "Wait; what?!" Olivia asked. "I made reservations at a nearby restaurant for the two of you." Victoria said. "And just when were you going to tell us?!" Arthur asked, clearly annoyed. "Um, right now? Duh." Victoria said, oblivious to Arthur's annoyance. Arthur sighed and rubbed his temples, Ivan laughed and Olivia smiled shyly as Arthur and Victoria started arguing.

_When you feel so tired but you can't sleep_

"Olivia~!" Victoria called, knocking on her door. "Come on out! It's almost time for you two to leave!" She added, still knocking on the door. The door slowly opened and Victoria looked at Olivia's blushing face. She's wearing a dark blue dress that goes to her knees, black leggings underneath, a dark green half-sweater, and black ballet flats. "I…I haven't worn a dress in almost five years…" Olivia muttered quietly. "Oh my gosh! You look so cute Olivia!" Victoria squealed, hugging Olivia. Olivia pulled away, still blushing. "Come on; Artie's going to _flip_ when he sees you!" Victoria said, nearly dragging Olivia downstairs. Olivia stumbled behind Victoria, and almost feel onto Arthur. She quickly straightened and another blush found its way onto her face. "H-Hi Arthur." She said. "Hello Olivia. Are you ready to go?" Arthur asked, a smile spreading on his face. "Y-Yah." Olivia said, noticing Arthur's outfit. He's wearing a black blazer with a white t-shirt underneath and a pair of slacks. "Well, have fun you two!" Victoria chirped happily, nearly shoving them out the front door. Olivia and Arthur started toward the restaurant and Arthur took Olivia's hand in his. He smiled at her and she smiled in return. "You know…I'm sort of glad that we're going on a date." Olivia said. "Really?" Arthur asked. "Yeah…it's nice. Plus, it's a good way to establish that we're officially dating." Olivia said, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. Arthur's smile grew. "Yeah."

_Stuck in reverse_

They soon reached the restaurant and were seated. Olivia was in instant awe at the restaurant the size, it's appearance, everything. "This place…is huge!" Olivia said. Arthur chuckled and Olivia started quickly flipping through the menu. "When…was the last time you went out to eat Olivia?" Arthur asked. "I think I was about sixteen." Olivia said, looking up at Arthur. "Really?" Arthur asked in slight shock. "Yeah, That was when Matt and I went to our junior prom." Olivia said, setting her menu down. Arthur set his down as well and put his hand over Olivia's, smiling softly at her. "Well, all that matters now is that we're here, together." He said. Olivia nodded; a tiny smile on her face. "Olivia?"

Olivia froze, the familiar voice nearly making her heart stop beating entirely and Arthur noticed this. "Olivia?" The voice asked again. Olivia ever-so-slowly turned to face the source of the voice to see the same brown hair and green eyes that she had tried to forget. "Oh, it is you!" The person said, a smile growing on his face. "M-Matt…" Olivia said, her voice barely a whisper. Matt grinned, and his eyes darted from Olivia, to Arthur, and then back to Olivia again. "You look great." He said. "It's no thanks to you!" Arthur hissed, his hands turning into fists. "Really? Just who are you?" Matt asked. "Someone who cares more about Olivia than you ever did! Do you even know what kind of pain you caused Olivia to go through?!" Arthur asked, the anger inside him starting to show. Matt scoffed. "Whatever, it was nothing that she couldn't handle. If anything, she _needed_ that! She was way too quiet and passive! She needed to grow a backbone!" Matt said. Olivia winced at each of his words, and the girl at Matt's table shifted around uncomfortably before Matt turned back to her. Arthur stood and walked around to Matt's table. "What do you want now?!" Matt asked impatiently. Arthur's fist collided with Matt's face, sending him out of his chair. "Ow!" He said, scrambling to stand up. "Are you fucking crazy?" He shouted. The dim conversation in the restaurant had stopped, and all eyes were on Matt and Arthur. "You need to take back what you said about Olivia right now!" Arthur growled. Matt smirked and pushed his chair out of the way, walking towards Arthur. "Just why should I? You know that it's true." He said, the smirk turning into a cocky smile. Arthur's hands turned back into fists. "She's weak! She wasn't even worth my time!" Matt added. Arthur launched his fist into Matt's face again, knocking him into the table he was sitting at, spilling the food on it all over him. Olivia stood and looked at Arthur, who took her hand. "Come on, let's get out of here." He said. "I'm…not hungry anymore." Olivia said quietly. Arthur turned to a shocked waiter. "We're leaving. Next time, don't let _scum_ like _him_ into this restaurant." He said. Olivia looked at the girl who is with Matt. "You should get away from him while you still can." She said, before leaving with Arthur.

_And the tears come streaming down your face_

As Arthur and Olivia were walking away from the restaurant, Olivia stopped walking. Arthur looked at her and saw tears running down her face. "O-Olivia? What's wrong?" He asked, gently grabbing her shoulders. "I…was scared, Arthur. I…didn't know what was going to happen." Olivia whispered. Arthur pulled her close. "I…Thank you Arthur." Olivia said, looking at him. "I've never had anyone stand up for me before." She said. Arthur felt himself smile and he leaned forward, kissing her. "You are a beautiful girl, Olivia. I can't see what he was talking about. You are so strong to be able to keep going the way that you have." Arthur said, brushing tears from Olivia's face. "Thank you." Olivia whispered, hugging Arthur back. "So do you want to try going somewhere else, or do you just want to go home?" Arthur asked, pulling away from Olivia. "Can we go home?" She asked. "Yeah. I'll make you something there." Arthur said. "Okay, sounds good." Olivia said, smiling as their fingers tangled together.

_When you lose something you can't replace_

"Eh? Why are you guys home so soon?!" Victoria asked, holding the door open for Olivia and Arthur as they walked into the house. They exchanged glances and Olivia let out a sigh. "Matt was at the restaurant." She said. "What?!" Victoria asked. "He was there…with his new girlfriend." Olivia said. "What did you do?" Ivan asked, joining them in the doorway. "Arthur punched him. Twice." Olivia said, a tiny smile growing on her face. "Really? Nice." Victoria said, grinning. "The bloody git deserved that, and more." Arthur said. Ivan was grinding his teeth and Olivia looked at him. "Please don't do anything stupid." She said. "I do not know what you are talking about." Ivan said. Olivia gave him a stern look. "Uncle Ivan, you grind your teeth whenever you're angry. You're thinking about killing Matt. Don't do it; he's not even worth the effort." Olivia said. Ivan smiled and stopped grinding his teeth. "Alright." He said. Olivia smiled in thanks. "Hey, what are you two doing to the living room?" Olivia asked, trying to get past Victoria. "N-Nothing! Don't look! It's…it's not ready yet!" Victoria said, waving her arms in an attempt to obscure the view. "What's not ready?" Olivia asked. "We are decorating." Ivan said happily. "Ivan! It was supposed to be a surprise!" Victoria said, pouting and dropping her arms. In the living room was a Christmas tree without decorations, and two stockings hung up nearby. "What…?" Olivia asked. "Well, you said that you hadn't celebrated Christmas since your mom died…so we decided to surprise you." Arthur said. "Artie said that since you two were going to be gone that we could decorate." Victoria said. Olivia felt a smile grow on her face and she turned to Arthur. "Thank you Arthur." She said, hugging him. Arthur hugged her back. "Well, since we're back earlier than planned, maybe we can all decorate." He said. Olivia's face lit up and she nodded as the group gathered around the tree.

_When you love someone but it goes to waste_

Matt grumbled to himself as he turned a corner. "Damn it! Because of that _slut_ and her new, whatever he is, Sara broke up with me!" He grumbled angrily. He slammed his foot into a nearby garbage can, cursing loudly. "You should pick that up, Da?"

Matt spun around to see a man in the shadows, his long scarf flapping in the low wind. "What's it to ya, you hobo?!" He spat. Matt began to stomp away, and Ivan followed him. Matt turned to walk down an alley. When he was about mid-way through, he heard a voice. "You should not have done those things to Olivia." Ivan said from behind Matt. Matt cursed and started running. "You cannot run away from what you deserve, Da?" Ivan asked, appearing in front of Matt. Matt turned to run, but he couldn't move. His legs suddenly felt like cement. Ivan smiled sweetly. "Mr. Witte, I think it is time we talk, Da?"

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**please review! ^^**


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